It's the little stuff

The best advice I've ever received comes from the book by progressive theologian Walter Wink, The Powers That Be.  The recommendation?  It comes from a quote in the book warning that "treating people as enemies will help create enemy reactions in them". 

It's so easy to turn people into the adversary.  Most of us do it without thinking of it.  The seemingly mundane tasks of driving or grocery shopping gives us ample opportunities.  People move slowly, people irritate and we decide to let them know how much they piss us off.  Then we act surprised when the person counters in a way that is less than pleasant.  We then go about our day just a little angrier and so does the other person and at the end of that day, we wonder why we feel disrespected, used and mad. 

I'm not saying I'm perfect in my interaction with others but I try to use that phrase to check myself before I react.  A couple days ago, I was driving down Clark to go to the gym.  There was a ton of traffic by the McDonalds and some old guy really wanted to make a left turn to get into the drive-thru.  I didn't think he had enough room to get by me.  He started gesturing like a crazy man, yelling at me.  Yeah, I was the enemy to him.  So, what did I do?  I backed up the tiny bit I could,  gave him a broad gesture to turn and blew him a kiss.  Old cranky guy immediately melted, smiled a big goofy smile and blew me a kiss back.  He made his turn.  He was happy and I was really glad that I was able to see beyond him being a selfish grump.  He might have had a really crappy day, couldn't pay a bill or found out he was sick and just needed some junk food.  I didn't make it worse.  I might have made things a little easier on us both.

I realize this sounds all preachy but it's the little interactions that matter.  They blow up into bigger hates and resentment and it shows in our world today.  I have to attend a social event this afternoon that will test my ability to be kind and not create enemy reactions.  Hopefully with a beer or two in me and the words of Wink, I'll be good.